If you’re thinking this sounds stupid I want to let you in on a big secret. It is stupid. However, it’s the way most of us treat debt.

Luckily, there is another way.

But first, to make sure that I don’t plant seeds that will later crop up to be “issues” that plague your self esteem, I want you to know that you are “debt worthy.” Make no doubt about it. You are just as “debt worthy” as the next person and maybe more. In fact, you are so “debt worthy” that you may pass on it all together.

The Debt-Riddled Life

Living a debt-riddled life is unsustainable for two reasons. First, it causes financial problems. Sure, you can remain in debt by always charging your credit cards back up as you pay them down. But after awhile, you may realize that “maintaining debt” prevents you from building wealth. It usually plays out like this with couples in my office when they come in for financial help:

Me: “Tell me about your finances”

Them: “We have excellent credit. We have four credit cards, a mortgage, two car loans, and a second mortgage. We have never made a late payment.”

Me: “Great. What have you saved for retirement?”

Them: Silence, fidget, more silence, fidget, and then they stare back doing their best “deer in headlights” imitation.

Most families need to reduce and, over time, eliminate debt if they truly want to have financial freedom. Financial freedom is about more than just numbers. It is about control over our finances that comes from control over ourselves. This is hard, though, since there is an enormous amount of advertising that encourages us to maintain debt.

Countless people I know have come to my office and informed me that they carry several thousand dollars on a credit card because they get a one percent rebate on all their purchases at the end of the year. For whatever the reason, it never occurred to them that paying 18 percent in interest is not really worth getting one percent back. Slick advertising can do that.

An Indicator of Other Problems

This leads me to the second reason why most debt is bad. It causes problems in our lives. Credit card debt is often a symptom of other problems. We don’t know what we want, or we do not know where we are going. We feel pressured to keep up with the next-door neighbor or the guy down the hall.

As a result, we often work more than we should and push some of the more important things to the back burner, like our kids or our spouse. If we do this for a long enough period of time we lose sight of what we want or even that we may want something more out of life than another order of potato skins from the chain restaurant.

Now most of us (including me) need to carry some debt. Most of us need a mortgage to buy a house. So the trick is figuring out how much debt we should carry and determining the most responsible way to handle it. Before we decide that, however, we need to make a list.

Your first reaction may be to get out your check register and prepare to make a list of your bills. However, I am not talking about that kind of list. I am talking about a list of what is important to you personally.

Establish Your Priorities

This list may contain things like happiness, your children, repairing a relationship with a family member, or making your marriage stronger. Then you would need to list what you would need to accomplish them. Most often people need time, a relaxed state of mind and an adequate flow of money.

When we decide on our debt level we need to focus not on our debt worthiness but on the really important things in our lives. So, if you want to spend more time with your children, you may need to buy a less expensive home and spend more time in it than out trying to pay for it. You may want to pass on the new clothing so you can pass on more love to your spouse. You may want to forego buy that new dress for your daughter and instead caress her face.

Managing debt is about managing priorities. What do you want from life? What do you really want to be worthy of? The love of your family and friends or the love of a company that charges you 18 percent a year to maintain the relationship?

Copyright 2001 Catholic Exchange