Family Spirituality

Families can get more out of Mass

At Home with our Faith offered a series of 10 short articles on how your family can get more out of the Mass. We walked through the chronology of the Mass, from preparation and gathering through the final blessing and sending forth. Each week for ten issues we suggested ways that you and your family can better appreciate how the Mass can deepen and enrich our life together. What follows are the ten installments.

Let the faithful pray

David Charles Wells, a teacher from England, told a crowd of religious educators he thinks it’s a shame that people "send their photographs to Mass." At first I didn’t get what he was saying and he went on to explain: "Too often Catholics seem to present a bright shining image when they arrive at Mass. Like the look you put on when the photographer says, ‘Say cheese.’ From the outside it looks as though everything is all together. Meanwhile, on the inside, their lives are anything but all together. They’re torn up with worries, concerns, and needs." Wells thought we ought to be able to come to Mass as we truly are.

I agree. The prayer of the faithful is one place to bring out what’s behind the smiling photo and to place it before God.

It’s natural to pray for what we want. But if petitionary prayer is the only kind of prayer you pray, let’s just say your spiritual metabolism is out of whack. A well-balanced prayer life includes praise, thanksgiving, and just plain awe.

But Jesus highly praised all those who asked for help: the widow who pestered the judge, the prodigal son who asked his father’s forgiveness, the good thief who yearned for a place in heaven. On and on, throughout the gospel stories, Jesus not only encouraged people to turn to God for help, but he also rejoiced when they revealed their needs and told them they had found the way to eternal life.

I’m a lector at St. Viator Parish in Chicago. I especially enjoy reading the petitions at the prayer of the faithful. It’s not so much the reading I enjoy–in fact I think we’d be better off letting people just spontaneously speak their own petitions. What I like best about it is to look out at the people when I say, "And for all those intentions that lie silently in our hearts . . ." followed by a pause.

During that pause I scan the crowd. Some have their heads bowed. Some are moving their lips in fervent prayer. Some are daydreaming. But within the church, a new spirit forms. All of us who all week long try to remain in control, finally let go. It’s like watching a hand that’s been clenched in a fist slowly untense and open up.

Jesus likes that openness. He can work with it. Open your heart a crack and his love pours in. With openness, lives can change, stony hearts can be turned to hearts of flesh.

Some people worry that talking about petitionary prayer will confuse their children. On one level it would be easy for children to mistake God’s promise of beneficence by expecting that they should get everything they ask for. But children are capable of understanding this truth on a deeper level. They can recognize the difference between being a spoiled, demanding brat and being a vulnerable child who relies on loving parents to be attuned to the child’s need and provide what’s best.

The prayer of the faithful is a turning point in the Mass. We’ve gathered, heard the Word of God, and soon we will begin the Liturgy of the Eucharist. In response to what we’ve heard, and in anticipation of the meal we will share, we take a minute to acknowledge our needs and place them before God. Here’s how you can help your child better appreciate this moment of the Mass:

1. Introduce other experiences of petitionary prayer. For example, before or after Mass, light a candle with your child. We put our petition before God, recognizing that we need God’s love in this situation. We do so in faith and recognition that the answer will come over time.

2. Tell them that God wants to know their deepest concerns. Like the father in the parable of the prodigal son, God stands on the hill searching for us, longing for our return.

3. Point out that as members of the church, we pray not only for ourselves, our own parish, and for the Catholic Church, but for the whole world. When tragedies strike in the world and are mentioned in the prayer of the faithful (e.g., the aftermath of hurricane damage in Honduras and Nicaragua), take advantage of the opportunity to talk about why the church responds with prayers and with material aid.

4. If appropriate, share with them what you are praying for at the prayer of the faithful. It’s good for our kids to know that we adults bring our concerns and petitions before God, too. TJM