Raising Good Kids

The Gift Of (Self-)Discipline

Children need lots of discipline in their lives: self-discipline on the part of their parents, that is. Not only do our children model our habits of honesty, reliability, politeness, etc., but our exercising self-discipline provides our children with a stable emotional environment. They learn they can count on us to live up to our responsibility to care for them and to set limits and expectations for them as we do for ourselves.

January, the month of New Year’s resolutions, is a good time to take a gentle and kindly look at our own behavior and, as parents, rate our self-discipline. As you look to make improvements, don’t overdo it! Think of just one area in your life that would improve with more self-discipline and concentrate on that for the next three or four months. Seek progress, not perfection.

Exercising your will positively on small things will help you prepare for bigger challenges in future years, when your child’s main job will be to test the limits. The more you bring peace and order to your own life, the more peace and order will (eventually) radiate in your family life. To get you started, here’s a list of qualities you can think about regarding your own behavior.

1. Show up when you say you will.

2. Be honorable.

3. Don’t cheat.

4. Don’t lie or gossip.

5. Exercise your authority fairly.

6. Don’t throw tantrums.

7. Get to know yourself.

8. Do things for other people with no ulterior motive.

9. Admit your mistakes; don’t make excuses.

10. Tend to your spiritual growth.