Motivate Your Child to Learn

Six strategies that really work
Vincent Ryan Ruggiero

Come September, the pace of life picks up. Car pools, school events, soccer practice, music lessons-the back-to-school whirlwind can leave you breathless. As life gets more active for you and your children, though, it's important to add some balance by encouraging reflection and critical thinking.

The following suggestions by an experienced educator, Vincent Ryan Ruggiero, are simple, adaptable for various ages, and easily incorporated into a busy schedule. Why not choose two or three to work on? You will be helping your children to build habits of thinking and reflecting that will serve them well, not just in school but throughout life.

Ask Questions. Begin when your child is young. Daily events will provide numerous opportunities if you look for them. For example, when you and your preschooler are riding in the car, ask, "Why didn't our traffic light turn green at the very same time the one on the other side turned red?" Similarly, ask, "Why are people more afraid of some dogs than others?"

As your child gets older, rely even more on questions, because they will make you seem less threatening and authoritarian and thus will encourage communication. You needn't force it: Just be alert for times when you want to express an opinion, and then ask instead of telling. Current news will provide numerous opportunities.

By asking questions instead of making assertions, you will get to know your child's mind better, encourage your child to discover knowledge and grow into convictions, and develop his or her problem-solving ability.

Stimulate a Sense of Wonder. Having a sense of wonder means appreciating the richness and diver-sity of life, being sensitive to the relationships among things and the implications of ideas. It is, in a word, the indispensable ingredient in learning-curiosity.

The first step in stimulating your child's sense of wonder is to restrain your tendency to be practical and realistic. For example, if your five-year--old says, "I'd like to build a house for all the wild animals," instead of stifling his imagination with a practical assessment ("You could never do that because there are too many types of wild animals and they live in many different lands"), say, "What a wonderful idea. Where would you put it and how would it look? Tell me what animals I could see in it. Maybe you can draw a picture of the house for me."

You can also provide stimulation by wondering aloud yourself, in this manner:
--I wonder what it sounds like to ants when we walk past them.

--I wonder where the idea of numbering houses on one side of street "even" and houses on the other side "odd" came from.

--I wonder what it would be like if there were no friction.

You may wish to make this wondering aloud a regular family activity which anyone can initiate and everyone can contribute to. Whether what follows is a trip to the library or bookstore, or merely a discussion of possibilities, the sharing of interests and the adventure of searching for answers will develop a love of learning.

Build the Habit of Reflection. Reflection does for the mind what digestion does for the body-it extracts nutritive value from the particular experiences of the day and the cumulative experiences of one's life. The nutritive value, of course, is intellectual and spiritual rather than physical. It consists of interpretations, meanings, and applications that create or reinforce the desire to know and do more.

Build the habit of reflection in your child by giving it a special place in your family life. Set aside a certain time-perhaps after dinner-and have everyone sit quietly in the same room without conversing, watching television, or listening to music. Encourage everyone to use pencil and paper to record thoughts. If your children are too young to write, allow them to color or draw, but make clear that the real purpose of the quiet time is to do a mental activity like one of the following, which can be done at some level by even the youngest:

--Review the important things that happened during the day and how you responded. Consider what lessons you can gain and how they can help you in the future.

--Ponder a philosophical, religious, or social question-the meaning of a biblical passage, the causes of violent behavior, the ways of showing appreciation to a friend.

After perhaps a half hour, spend some time sharing your thoughts. This will help young children understand what reflection means and how valuable it can be. It also provides an excellent occasion to share things you have difficulty expressing, such as, "The thought occurred to me that your father and I are so fortunate to have you as our daughter."

Help your child find a hobby that requires concentration and quiet surroundings-stamp collecting, reading, model building, or writing poetry. Also, encourage her to keep a journal of thoughts that occur during times of reflection and to review these from time to time to stimulate further reflection.

Encourage Observation. Make a family game of noticing interesting things and sharing them with one another, per-haps at dinner time. They may involve people, places, or things and be significant or insignificant, new or just previously unnoticed.

--Daughter: I noticed that Aunt Mary's dog, Butch, walks funny. He kind of goes sideways.

--Son: I noticed that my teacher wears mostly blue clothes. Really, she has blue dresses and blue sweaters, blue shoes, even a blue coat.

--Father: I noticed that the restaurant I usually have lunch in has a beautiful wooden ceiling with hundreds of carved figures in it. I'll take you all downtown on Saturday and show you.

--Mother: I noticed that every time my boss is about to make an important announcement to the executive committee, his right eye twitches.

Often, the observations will be about relatively unimportant things. But occasionally they will be about more interest-ing matters, like the knack a particular newspaper columnist has for writing memorable conclusions, or the way a friend who lost her mother last year tends to be quiet when the subject of parents comes up, or some trick used in advertising.

Involve Your Child in Event Planning. Let your child experience the application of learning to everyday life, particularly on family occasions such as weddings, anniversaries, and holidays. Well before the event arrives, ask your child to help plan it. Even preschoolers can contribute ideas; older children can do much more.

Encourage your child to consider ways to apply knowledge and skills gained in school. Social studies lessons can be applied by creating themes.Christmas might be celebrated a traditional German way one year, a Greek way the next, and so on. Writing skills can be used in composing invitations, place cards, and blessings to be read before the main meal. Knowledge of literature can be applied in selecting poems for family members to read in celebration of the occasion. Art skills can be used in making decorations, music knowledge in selecting appropriate back-ground music.

This strategy for motivating your child carries a bonus-it will make the event more meaningful for everyone.

Discuss Ideas. It is never too early to introduce your child to the discussion of ideas. Even if she is too young to participate, just hearing you and your spouse in a lively, friendly exchange or an examination of ideas will help form the attitude that simple conversation is a learning experience and will make her eager to participate herself.

One of the best sources of ideas is a good book of quotations. Buy one and spend a few minutes each day discussing a single quotation. Com-ment on what it means, whether it is true or not, and to what situations it applies. When your child is old enough, let her join in the discussion, taking as much of the initiative as she can manage. Here are a couple of interesting quotations, each with one or more appropriate questions following:

--"Wise men learn more from fools than fools from wise men" (Marcus P. Cato). What can a wise man possibly learn from a fool? If a wise man knows a great deal, why can't a fool learn from him?

--"The girl who can't dance says the band can't play" (Yiddish proverb). If the girl can't dance, why would she blame the band? Are there any cases, other than dancing, where this saying applies?

To keep your child's mind alert for error, throw in an occasional outrageous statement, like Hitler's, "Success is the sole earthly judge of right or wrong," and don't be too quick to tell her it is wrong. Let her discover by applying the idea to various moral situations that she is familiar with-for a young child, situations like lying to parents and stealing cookies.

By implementing these strategies-a relatively easy task even if your schedule is unusually busy-you will become your child's best friend and mentor, ignite his or her desire to learn, and establish a firm foundation for excellence.

Vincent Ryan Ruggiero, Professor Emeritus, State University of New York at Delhi, is a prolific author and educator known for his work on teaching creative and critical thinking. This is adapted from his book, Saving Your Child's Mind (1988). Courtesy of Charles C. Thomas Publisher, Ltd., Springfield, Illinois.