...to be "Mary-like" mothers themselves and to have the courage to
joyfully embrace this awesome challenge in today’s world.
We must begin by being good examples ourselves in the practice and love
of the Faith and devotion to family. Naturally, we want to encourage our
daughters to use their gifts of intelligence and abilities to the
fullest, but there is so much more to joyful womanhood that many, many
young women are missing. My own experience has brought me to a very
basic method of communicating the heart and art of Christian womanhood.
One often hears the old adage that the way to a man’s heart is through
his stomach. It is my contention that one way to bring a daughter to the
fullness of womanhood is through her senses.
God, as Creator, has placed within us the capacity to receive and give
love through our senses. It makes perfect "sense" for mothers to use
those senses to impart to their daughters all that God calls them to. A
son momentarily appreciates the softness of a rose petal or a baby’s
bottom, but a daughter is permanently and positively sensitized to the
preciousness of life.
Consistently exposing daughters, for example, to the feel of dough, the
smell of yeast, and to the glorious aroma of freshly baked bread (even
from a bread machine) sets in their minds and hearts what it is that
truly satisfies.
With or without green thumbs, mothers can share the feel of warm earth,
the smoothness of a seed, a fragile new leaf, and the scents of
perennials such as lilies of the valley and roses — the "Mary" flowers.
Harvest time gives mothers the opportunity to turn God’s abundance of
tomatoes and other fruits into sauces and preserves with her daughters’
help and appreciation for the satisfying outcome of doing it "ourselves"
for others. Herbs offer another "scentsation" for our daughters to
experience regularly. Even without the time, space, or patience to
nurture an herb garden, one can grow lavender by the door and some
delicious smelling cooking herbs in window sill pots.
Babies offer an ideal opportunity to give daughters the heartwarming
sense of the joy of motherhood. The smells of a freshly washed baby, the
"down" on a baby’s head, and the softness of a baby’s skin are
unforgettable shared experiences. The intricate workings of the body,
from life-giving nourishment to the baby’s ability to know his own
mother by her scent can be communicated to daughters with very few
words. One simply needs to appreciate the preciousness of life and share
these simple sense experiences to offer daughters life-giving memories.
The warmth of flannel sheets, the delicate purity of a wedding or
christening dress, and excursions through fabric stores to touch all
manner of woven goods give tactile memories of comfort, creativity,
caring, and beauty.
I have learned from my daughter-in-law that mothers can unobtrusively
set the tone of the home by introducing soothing music, such as
classical or Gregorian chant. The reasons for this can be shared with a
daughter, at the right time, so that she can learn to set the tone of
her own home amidst the cacophony of the world.
The satisfying lift of a pot of tea shared with a daughter over
something freshly baked can ease the sadness of a loss or failure and
offer an opportunity for quiet reflection ... together. Encouraging a
lingering soak in a quiet bath affords a tranquil time-out for our young
women and will no doubt be repeated as many times with warm remembrances
of a mother’s wisdom.
The quiet source of strength of a well-worn favorite novena prayer and
the blessings imparted to family and friends from a holy water font by
the front door are time-honored ways of receiving help from God and
sharing His blessings with others. Our simple methods of coping with the
difficulties, frustrations, and challenges of daily life make cherished
gifts to our daughters.
Our Judeo-Christian heritage is filled with traditions which nourish the
foundations of family life. These traditions, passed from mothers to
daughters and from generation to generation, are the threads that weave
families — and societies — together. The ability to create the invisible
scents of her family’s favorite foods from pasta to pirogies, stews,
special casseroles, and desserts are among the greatest gifts a mother
can bestow on a daughter.
God has given us the Bread of Life, the Cup of Salvation, the incense of
prayer, the waters of Baptism, and the oils of Anointing to bring us to
life in Him. Let us follow His lead and use the gift of our senses to
give our daughters the joys of being His as they grow into mature women
of faith, courage, and wisdom. They will always remember these motherly
lessons of womanly care from the heart.
by Jane
Heinser
Other Articles by Jane Heinser
(Mrs. Heinser writes from Massachussetts. This article was originally
published in
Canticle, the
Voice of Today's Catholic Woman.)
