Family Spirituality

Families can get more out of Mass

At Home with our Faith offered a series of 10 short articles on how your family can get more out of the Mass. We walked through the chronology of the Mass, from preparation and gathering through the final blessing and sending forth. Each week for ten issues we suggested ways that you and your family can better appreciate how the Mass can deepen and enrich our life together. What follows are the ten installments.

Saturday night special

A friend told me: "I remember Saturday night became special when we were called in from playing, and bath time began. We each took our baths, got in our jammies, and we either played a board game or watched an old-time movie. It was the one night we were allowed to drink pop and eat popcorn. It seemed as if the week had suddenly changed, that time itself slowed and the outside noise abated and we had this special time all to ourselves as a family. And so when Sunday morning came, it seemed we were all in the frame of mind for going to church. Not that we always wanted to go, but it seemed to flow from the specialness of the night before."

The rituals we enjoy as a family (even simple ones like reading the comics together on Sunday morning) can prepare us to appreciate and get the most out of the rituals we experience at Mass as a parish family. The procession that escorts the priest up to the altar is preceded by the procession that begins in our homes, takes us to the parking lot, and has us greeting friends on the walkways on the way into church. The point is that you can prepare your family to get more out of Mass by shaping what goes on in your home the hours beforehand. Your habits and traditions can signal a special Sabbath atmosphere by how they set this time of the week apart from what passes for normal.

When I was growing up, Sundays meant the smell of pancakes and the sound of Broadway show tunes in the air. Nowadays my daughters and I listen to "Breakfast with the Beatles," while munching our bagels with a schmear. The key is that Sunday morning is not like every other morning. Here are a few examples of Sabbath rituals that might work in your home.

* Keep Sunday mornings simple. I know this isn’t always easy. As one of our readers put it, "Families getting young kids to church must prepare as if for the D-Day invasion." But you can eliminate some of the typical sources of distraction and disruption: no TV, no Nintendo, no headphones. You can also change your expectations about what this day is all about. Be mindful of the people in your life, not the ticking of the clock or the things you have to do after church. Try to keep your calendar clear both before and right after church, to allow you time to breathe. The commands not to work on Sunday weren’t meant to punish you but to free you.

* Keep the focus on the family. Starting with Saturday night, select activities that keep you connected person-to-person: card games, reading the comics aloud, telling family stories, reading an upbeat story or Bible story, charades, plays, playing with the dog, doing crafts, making bread, listening to good music, singing songs together.

* Do different things and do things differently. Walk to church instead of driving, have a special breakfast that’s only for Sundays and holidays, get dressed up (though an obsession with appearances is counterproductive), or make plans to pick up an elderly neighbor who could use a ride.

In a very real way, the gathering rite for Sunday Mass begins at home. At Mass we’re not just gathering bodies, we’re also trying to gather our scattered minds and hearts, thoughts, and emotions and bring them together in a purposeful way before the Lord. Our society moves at such a rapid pace, with constant activity and constant change. Family life can, at times, be an antidote to that. Think of ways you already achieve this. Pat yourself on the back. Now think about one way you can do it even better over time. And so the Mass begins.