Family Spirituality

Living Faith: a collection of columns from Catherine O’Connell-Cahill that appeared in At Home with our Faith.

Who’s leading whom?

A Jesuit priest named Gary Smith is also a roofer. Not the kind of roofer you call when your roof springs a leak, but a roofer nonetheless. He told his story in the National Catholic Reporter a few months back.

Gary Smith and a group of his friends became the support system for a friend of theirs named Wells, who was dying of multiple sclerosis. These friends decided to care for him, financially and otherwise, during his final three years of life. They visited him regularly, and each man sent a monthly check to pay for Wells’ medical needs and home care. Wells called them "roofers," referring to the men in Luke’s Gospel who, desperate to get their paralyzed friend noticed by Jesus, tore the tiles from the roof of Peter’s house and lowered the stretcher bearing their buddy right under Jesus’ nose.

Here are some words from the funeral homily delivered by one of the "roofers": "We were indeed the people from the gospel: packing him on his litter, down the alleys, across the river, up the stairs, to the very roof. We pulled off the tiles. We hardly had a choice. He was yanking on us to do so. It really wasn’t hard. He was pretty light, after all. He didn’t complain."

What made me want to tell this story in At Home with our Faith was something that Wells used to say during his illness: "My vocation, during this part of my life, is to lead people to God by their taking care of me."

"It worked," said the man giving the homily. Our hearts opened. . . . He led the way to God. Our job was easy. All we did was carry him."

This blew me away. I am forever hearing about people who consider suicide because they "don’t want to be a burden" or don’t wish to endure what the final months of their life might have in store. But here was a man with the vision to see that by allowing people to take care of him at the end of his life, he was in fact leading them to God.

Who else in life lets people take care of them? Why, children, of course. Infants and toddlers and 9-year-olds. Kids who need to cry on your shoulder or be driven to baseball practice. Kids who need you to make macaroni and cheese for the gazillionth time or to teach them how to drive a car.

Wait, we’re leading them to God, aren’t we? (Isn’t that the point of this newsletter?) Of course we do lead our kids to God, mostly by our example. But the story of the roofers reminds me that caring for our kids puts us on a spiritual path to God, too.

Think of your day today, or your past week. What have you done to care for your kids? What spiritual lessons have you learned?

You may have found the patience to let your 5-year-old struggle with tying his shoes even though you’re in a hurry, because you know that’s the only way he’ll learn. You may have found the strength and endurance to comfort a sick child or a fussy infant in the wee small hours of the morning. You may have found forgiveness in your heart for a teenager who made you furious. You may have let your small child show you again the wonders of the natural world and the virtues of walking slowly enough to notice bugs and leaves (or currently icicles and snow formations in my neck of the woods).

Just a few more reasons to thank God for our daughters and our sons. COC